Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

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Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

Postby Schlocky » Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:21 am

Cometti on team selection:
In for the Cats today, David and Steve Johnson. Who better to patch up a line-up than Johnson & Johnson.

On a coaching legend:
There is something magnetic about his aura. Paul Roos should be covered in fridge magnets.

On his early career calling cricket:
1974, Australia v England at the Waca. The good old days. Literally – England all-rounder Chris Old finished with 3 wickets and 50 runs.

On Essendon’s Courtney Johns:
I remember when he debuted he had the haircut of a 400-game veteran. Unfortunately his game didn’t gel as well as his hair.

On Carlton’s struggles:
Four Blues had a chance to clear that ball. It’s what the French call esprit de goof.

On the ‘Shinboner of the Century’:
Getting past Glenn Archer is still like trying to tiptoe past Mayfair and Park Lane with hotels.

On North Melbourne Kangaroos' pint-sized Brent Harvey:
He might be the only guy in the competition whose feet appear in his driver licence photo.

On Harvey again:
Three Collingwood players on top of Harvey, pleading to the umpire. I’m not sure he had prior opportunity but he’s been pinged anyway! That may have been the ultimate kangaroo court.

On a former Brisbane ruckman:
Matthew Clarke is a dinosaur thriving on climate change.

On his first meeting with Eddie McGuire:
Ed had an aura. I remember he asked his personal assistant, “Have you seen the letter opener?” and she replied, “It’s his day off.” I was impressed.

On Heath and Rhys Shaw’s tackling efforts:
Mitch Hahn found himself girt by Shaws.

On Jude Bolton’s endurance:
They’ve finally got Jude Bolton off the ground and he’s heaving like a crazed tuba player.

On Paul Hasleby’s courage:
Just wonderful courage from Paul Hasleby. He bounced off one guy and into the path of another. If you watch that replay backwards I bet it says, ‘Paul is dead’.

On Adelaide defender Nathan Bassett:
Bassett’s my man. He never takes a breather. If he was a postman I reckon he’d finish his round in 20 minutes, stopping only to bite a few dogs.

On the weather:
Plenty of cloud about. And for anyone who’s ever called a plumber that’s a rare sight – the moon is completely covered.

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Re: Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

Postby Schlocky » Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:28 am

“Like a cork in the ocean”
One of Dennis Cometti’s most famous lines. It was first delivered after West Coast Eagle Peter Wilson booted an incredible goal in the 1992 grand final.

“Nasty situation. He’s caught between A Rock and a hard place.”
The line came when a player was caught between former North Meloburne player Anthony Rock and the boundary fence.

“It’s like finding fault with Miss Venezuela”
Cometti speaking about Adelaide midfielder Rory Sloane.

“Alan Didak was Stevie J before Stevie J was Stevie J”
On Collingwood player Alan Didak having skills like Geelong’s Steve Johnson.

“Metropolis, kicking to the city end”
Speaking about former West Coast and Fremantle player Daniel Metropolis.

“The guns of Paparone need a bit of work”
Speaking about young Brisbane Lions player Marco Paparone.

“Barlow to Bateman. The Hawks are attacking alphabetically ...’’
On Hawthorn players Kris Barlow and Chance Bateman

“How’s that, a two Carr collision, both with the same rego!”
When Josh Carr wearing jumper number nine for Port Adelaide, bumped his brother Matthew, wearing number nine for Fremantle.

“Parker to Carr … … sounds like a match made in heaven!”
Another play on the Carr name.

“Brent (Guerra) hates losing and that extends to his hair.”
On Hawk Brent Guerra, who did advertisements for The Hair Institute.

“Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they’re playing My Sharona”

“Ling’s running off the ground a little bit gingerly”

“Farmer may have an injury to his calf........hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem.”

“Kevin Sheedy, who was coaching Essendon 14 years before Adelaide was founded. The team, not the city.”

“Collingwood know they’re in trouble, it’s like being in the bathtub with the Loch Ness monster!”

“It was like a self-saucing pudding. Players just waiting for the whistle”

“Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich.”

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Re: Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

Postby Schlocky » Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:34 am

On Melbourne midfielder Adam Yze:
Remember the name: Y-Z-E – terrific young player, bad Scrabble hand.

On the work of Bulldogs star Tony Liberatore as he burrowed into a pack:
Liberatore went into that last pack optimistically and came out misty optically.

On former Melbourne, Sydney and Collingwood ruckman Darren Jolly:
Jolly gets it to Green. Where’s the giant?

On a Carlton champion:
There’s Koutoufides – more vowels than possessions today.

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Re: Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

Postby Schlocky » Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:39 am

So it’s back to the old drawing board. Obviously a luxury that the guy who invented the drawing board didn’t have – Cometti on the struggles of coaches.

On Brisbane midfiedler Simon Black:
He’s like Diogenes or O.J. Simpson – he’s always searching.

On an errant shot at goal by former Richmond star Darren Gasper:
Ahh, Gasper the unfriendly post.

Upon seeing Port Adelaide’s Josh Carr approached by a tackler:
Carr – covered by a third party.

On a collision between Carr’s brother Matthew and former Docker Trent Croad:
Carr was just poleaxed by his own team-mate. Does that qualify as Croad rage?

On the eternal struggles of the tall defender:
Right now Shannon Watt looks like a man in a darkened room trying to discover where all the furniture is.

On a West Coast Eagles champion:
The way Jakovich is playing today he’s closer to teething than retiring.

On Collingwood’s burly full-forward of the 2000s:
When Anthony Rocca backs into a pack, he beeps.

Harking back to his FM radio days with another 1960s music reference:
The Dockers’ defence is in disarray. Everybody wants to be Gladys Knight, nobody wants to be the Pips.

On the unfortunate lot of a lumbering Adelaide ruckman:
Shaun Rehn has been terrific again today but look at him, he’s paid a price. Like a Saint Bernard in a heatwave.

On a Brownlow medal-winning former Bulldogs and Bears star:
Hardie decides to have a bounce. Look at him go. Amazing. Not bad for a guy who’s built like a pirate’s lunch table.

On St Kilda’s premiership drought:
The Saints have had more five-year plans than Fidel Castro.

On the one-dimensional kicking skills of Essendon forward Scott Lucas:
I think it’s safe to say Lucas takes his right leg out there purely for balance.

On his former colleague Robert DiPierdomenico:
That’s the latest from the huddles. For those of you who don’t know, Dipper is a graduate of the Don Corleone school of elocution.

On a former Adelaide and Geelong livewire’s unpredictable moves:
I swear if Ronnie Burns were building a house he’d start with the roof.

On football tactics:
Some people might say that was a set play, but if it was, the Swans must have copied it off a Portuguese bus timetable.

On Simon Black, again:
A lot of talk these days is about ‘inside players’. Well, as we saw there, if Simon Black was any more inside he’d be a pancreas.

On a clash between Essendon and Hawthorn great Paul Salmon and the more slimline St Kilda star Nicky ‘Elvis’ Winmar:
Just as Winmar landed, big Salmon came crashing down on top of him. They’re slowly getting up and now I can report the building has left the Elvis.

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Re: Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

Postby HeavyMen » Sat Oct 01, 2016 11:49 am

:salute2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

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Re: Dennis Cometti Aussie Legend

Postby viddleodge » Mon Oct 03, 2016 5:17 pm

yeah, he was alright :salute2:

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