Tag Team 2017/2018

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slarty
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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:27 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW13 2nd - 1571km
So now it's time to exclusively reveal that Yani and Timmsy are the only team to have escaped from Germany. They've crossed Lake Constance and arrived in St. Gallen after gaining 75km from their 92, but they'd better watch out. Another sojourn south and it's possible they'll become trapped in the peninsula of the hairy-arsed wimmins.

Pop.:75,000. Founding attributed to the Irish monk Gallus, who built a gallus wee hermitage there in 612AD. This went on to become a gallus big abbey which spent the 300 years before the reformation having fisticuffs with the locals over who should rule the town.

Quite a few museums, but the highlight has got to be the Beer Bottle Museum. St Gallen is home to the world's largest essay-writing competition. The local team have won the Swiss League twice and the highlight of their European campaigns seems to be reaching the group stage of the Europa in 2013 where they beat Swansea.

Yani runs out of rohypnol

Meanwhile Timmsy goes for the sympathy shag with
his Ballad of Ebadoun

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sun Dec 03, 2017 3:13 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW13 1st - 1500km
And that brings us on to Talcy and Schlocky with their 71km lead. As is the way of the world, last week's leaders managed to get this week's best distance from their score, gaining 95km from their 99pts. They've ended the week in the Lower Bavarian city of Landshut, so at least one of our duo will feel more comfortable with the ceiling height.

Pop.:69,000. Founded 1204AD. Since then, nothing much has happened apart from being plundered by the Swedes in 1634. It's now one of the richest industrialised towns in Bavaria, though the presence of our duo should bring that down a bit. Notable inhabitants have included Heinrich Himmler and half a dozen ice hockey players which probably explain why it's twinned with Elgin.

Heinrich "The Itch" Himmler's decree that anyone
in Landshut with pubic lice should wear a special
warning hat still stands







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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 04, 2017 6:00 pm

Tag Team Classic GW14
A strange thing happened on the way to the granny groupies in the dressing rooms this week. In a week where the average score was 180, the four teams who managed to score above that were all from last week's bottom five.

First up we have those masters of the ring, Crompton and Rinky. Despite hitting the joint third-lowest score of the week, they've managed to do enough to hang on to their lead and now sit on 1493pts. They're fast becoming the equivalent of those teams that win the league with a string of 1-0 wins, all scored in injury time.

The main reason The Ringmasters managed to retain their lead was that the team in second, Talcy and Schlocky, were the other joint third-lowest scorers. Their 170pts must come as a bit of a disappointment after good performances in the previous two weeks and they finish the round on 1482.

In third place we have last week's displaced second, The Pigeon Bobbers. They won't be reclaiming that spot anytime soon if they keep scoring like this. Their 157 was the lowest score of the week and leaves them 25pts behind Talcy and Schlocky on 1457.

Devilsweep and Nuttie have moved up to fourth place with the second highest score this week, a (relatively) mighty 201pts giving them a total of 1440.

Yani and Timmsy were the team to suffer and they now sit four points behind on 1436 after hitting 172pts.

In sixth spot we have Avit and Pottster who high-scored for the second week running with 213pts. :clap2: If they keep this up the fourth place isn't beyond them next week as they are only nine points adrift on 1431.

And that's the last of the teams in the 1400s. On 1395 we have Clammers and Feet with an above-average 184pts, leaving them in seventh place.

In eighth we have a team who have started to roll in the past few weeks, Mintman and Weeman. They've now hit above-average scores for five consecutive weeks and were rewarded in this one by finally moving off last place. Their third-highest weekly score of 189 gives them a total of 1373pts.

No bets are being taken on Slarty and Viddleodge hanging on to the wooden umbrella position until the end of the season. Their 163pts saw them lose ground on every team apart from The Pigeon Bobbers and they now lie 16pts off eighth on 1357.

Special mention this week goes to the high-scorers, Avit and Pottster. Not only did they have the highest team score, but they had the two highest individual scores with 107 and 106 respectively. All the more remarkable when you consider that only two other grapplers, Devilsweep and Yani, managed to hit three figure scores. :salute2:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Dec 08, 2017 2:08 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 9th - 1770km
In a double gameweek where the largest distance gain was 170km, Crompton and Rinky seem to have left Mühlhausen with bombs strapped to their blisters which would explode if they gained more than 30km. They used up the rest of their 170km making a break for Berlin and are now the most northerly team by far. They've arrived in Wittenberg 500 years after Martin Luther nailed his shopping list to the the door of All Saints and then went on to present a very puzzled grocer with 95 theses against selling indulgencies.

Pop.:46,000. First mentioned in 1180, nowt much else has happened in Wittenberg apart from a couple of French occupations, and the aircraft bits factory being bombed to even smaller bits during WWII. Former HQ of the treehumper-friendly web search engine Ecosia, whatever-the-fuck that is, and twinned with "Wycliffestead Lutterworth", whatever-the-fuck that is.

A stunned Martin Luther after Crompton explained
why he and Rinky wanted to borrow the hammer

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Dec 08, 2017 3:30 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 8th - 1700km
Not doing much better are Slarty and Viddleodge who (unsurprisingly) seem keen to stay in Germany for as long as possible. This week they travelled SSW for a gain of 38km out of a possible 163. They've ended the week in Vaihingen an der Enz, which translates loosely as Bumfuck, Germany.

Pop.:29,000. First clear mention of this place was in 1252, "Bumfuckium, Germanus". Besieged by both protestant and catholic forces during The Thirty Years War, the local Jediists held out until the siege was lifted in 1977 by Emperor Lucas von Hollywood. Apart from that, Vaihingen an der Enz's main claim to fame seems to be having a concentration camp, built in 1943, to house the Sith as slave labour in the manufacture of lightsabers.

To the delight of Slarty, hiding in his Fraupotty,
Princess Leia's green apple diet meant she was
inserting her sixth penny in twenty minutes.
Vid's potty (in use, right), was equally successful.

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Dec 08, 2017 6:52 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 7th - 1673km
Also heading SSW were Clammers and Feets. They've dropped down one place after only gaining 76km from their 184, possibly as a result of Clammers having trouble walking straight after her splits last week. Anyway, they've finished the week in the wonderfully named town of Bamberg (warning: naked wet bitches). Between Gallus last week and Bamberg this, I'm feeling quite at home in Germany and am looking forward to Bawbagheim and Glaikitburg.

Pop.:73,000. First mentioned in 902AD, well preserved and a UNESCO world heritage site, but enough about Clammers. Bamberg rose to fame in the 17th century with its, "Tough on witches, tough on the causes of witches" policy which resulted in more than 1,000 deaths. The fückin' Bams even built a special witch prison, the Drudenhaus. Twinned with Bedford, notables include Willy Messerschmitt, Hegel, together with nicely-named Lorenz Krapp and Cunigunde of Luxembourg.

"Yes, all men do dress like that in
Bamberg, Feets", said a vengeful,
still hobbling Clammers. "Now you
go on ahead and book our rooms".

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sun Dec 10, 2017 11:50 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 6th - 1642km
Up from 8th last week we are Mintman and Weeman who gained 131km out of a possible 189. They've now clearly recovered from Mayor Grabe-Bolz and look to be getting into their stride. This week they left Bensheim behind and headed South to the town of Tuttlingen, near the Swiss border.

Pop.:35,000. Probably a Celtic settlement originally, but wasn't mentioned until 797AD when they won the Dark Ages Cup after a replay. Latecomer to the fire game, but made up for it in quality when almost all the town within its walls was destroyed in 1803. In 1945 it had five air raids, four of which were aimed at the station after intelligence reports that the town council were planning a railway museum. According to wikipedia, 50% of the world's surgical equipment is manufactured in Tuttlingen, so no doubt our duo will be back to playing Hide the Endoscope.

Judging by their one-cheek-on-the-seat postures,
two locals had been introduced to Hide the Endoscope
by Mintman and Weeman

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:30 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 5th - 1612km
After last week's 3km disaster, The Pigeon Bobbers have reclaimed their beloved fifth place with a mighty 145km from 157pts. They've crossed into the Czech Republic and are currently in the Bohemian spa town of Karlovy Vary, no doubt looking for the famous Czech Happy videos featuring burds in bikinis - nae luck.

Pop.:50,000. A settlement since the Bronze Age, Karlovy Vary was granted town status in 1370 by Charley IV, thus the German name for the spa town, Carlsbad. Nothing much happened until 1914 when the aristocratic visitors upon which the town depended, decided it was more fun making the plebs stand in holes in the ground across Europe. Five years later the good times returned for Karlovy Vary as a lot of aristocrats had also gotten muddy and needed a bath, preferably in the newly formed Czechoslovakia. After WWII the introduction of anti-scheisse laws saw the ethnic German locals forcibly expelled from the town and cholera is now a rarity.

The Flat Capped Aristocrats:
Sheffy and Yorkie take the waters
shortly before the worst cholera
outbreak for 70 years

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:03 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 4th - 1582km
This week's high-scorers, Avit and Pottster, didn't hold on to their reclaimed third spot for more than a week. Our resident fashionistas obviously couldn't resist the allure of Milan and headed SSW instead of southeast. As a result thy only gained 85km out of a possible 213. More importantly, they are now in danger of travelling all the way down Italy until the sea-crossing rule kicks in. They've left Germany and are now on the edge of the Alps, halfway across Switzerland in the town of Altdorf.

Pop.:9,000 :doh: . First mentioned in 1223AD, but evidence of settlement from 1500 years prior to this has been found in a dated stonemail. Altdorf's only claim to fame is that it's supposedly the site where William Tell shot a defenceless apple for no good reason.

Avit's makeover distracted the mayor
while Pottster strained to park the fudge

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 11, 2017 11:10 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 3rd - 1504km
Yani and Timmsy weren't too impressed with Switzerland and have crossed back into Germany to get their their Toblerone wounds attended to. Their ENE heading resulted in a gain of 67km from a possible 172, but at least they're on the "safer" side of the line now. They've called a halt at Gräfelfing (sing along), a garden city suburb of Munich and the fifth wealthiest municipality in Germany.

Pop.:13,000. From its website, "Gräfelfing offers a variety of public facilities that are available to citizens" - scrolling down the page reveals one of these to be the graveyard. :shock: This may be a translation error, but upcoming events offer a lecture on "Species-appropriate child husbandry". Apart from the town hall being a design classic, there's little else to say about the place.

"Fifth richest, one's posterior. Bally
Bosch don't even have butlers"

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:30 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 2nd - 1498km
Leaping up from fourth last week we have Devilsweep and Nuttie. Their second-highest score of the week, 201, was put to good use as they travelled due east for a distance gain of 170km. They've stopped off at Weilheim in Oberbayern, a town in southern Bavaria.

Pop.:22,000. Another one dating from the bronze age, it went unnoticed until 1010AD. This one is putting others to shame with its fire record - several big fires in the middle ages, 120 houses burnt down in 1810 and the monastery was destroyed by fire in 1825 (yeah, yeah chip friar). It's also another town that had its train station destroyed by bombing to prevent the spread of rail museums. Thomas Müller was born there.

Weilheim's fire brigade at the annual "Salute with
your right hand" refresher
Last edited by slarty on Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:36 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 1st - 1351km
That just leaves Talcy and Schlocky who more than doubled their lead this week. The gap now stands at 147km thanks to the demise of their nearest rivals combined with a gain of 149km from their 170 score. They've taken the middle route of the three teams who left Germany this week and ended up in an Austrian town which sounds like a doughnut shop, Kirchdorf an der Krems. No prizes for guessing who was mapreading then.

Pop.:4,000. :doh: :doh: :doh: Surprisingly enough for its population it manages a whole two sentence wikipedia entry. Not quite "Mostly harmless", but near enough. "Apparently settled by the year 903.", is one of them. Google translate it is then..."Civil defense self-protection tips". Yep, that one features "Baking in Advent" and "Fire protection for Christmas

Token Totty
This was at the top of my google search for Kirchdorf :grin:






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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:09 pm

Tag Team Classic GW15
In a week when the average score was a pretty miserable 75pts, our long-time leaders couldn't even manage to hit that. Enough of the mutual towelling boys, you were lucky not to get overtaken this week.

Yes, Crompton and Rinky are now sharing their 1564pt first place with Talcy and Schlocky after the latter outscored them by 11pts. Given past history I'd expect Crompton and Rinky to see off the challenge, but Talcy and Schlocky have been on a bit of a roll recently. They've outscored the Ringmasters in three of the last four weeks, the other being a draw. Watch this space.

Adding to the grannies' blood pressure are The Pigeon Bobbers who high-scored with 97 and are now only 10pts behind the joint leaders.

Devilsweep and Nuttie are 28pts further back on 1526 after hitting 82pts

Yani and Timmsy were another team to have a below average score. Their 68 leaves them on 1504pts.

And that wraps it up for the 1500s. In sixth place are Avit and Pottster with the second lowest score of the week, their 57pts leaving them on 1488.

Closing in on their next target we have Mintman and Weeman whose 80pt haul leaves them up another place on 1453.

Next up we have Slarty and Viddleodge who also climb one place after somehow managing to hit 86pts, leaving them on 1443.

Finally we have Clammers and Feets who got the lowest score of the season so far, snatching that honour from Talcy and Schlocky, and dropped down the rankings by two places. Their 44pts puts them on 1439, just four behind eighth spot.


Weekly Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score: The Pigeon Bobbers - 97
Highest Individual Score: Yorkie - 50

Weekly Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score: Clammers and Feets - 44
Lowest Individual Score: Clammers - 21

Seasonal Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score (10 games): Talcy and Schlocky - 150
Highest Individual Score (10 games): Feets - 90

Seasonal Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score (10 games): Clammers and Feets - 44
Lowest Individual Score (10 games): Talcy - 18

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:36 pm

To be fair feets is playing with a slight handicap.









Although clammers does have the odd decent week in her

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Dec 13, 2017 10:17 pm

Ouch!

:lol:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Ianovich » Wed Dec 13, 2017 11:14 pm

Yorkshire Exile wrote:To be fair feets is playing with a slight handicap.









Although clammers does have the odd decent week in her



I think Feets has actually improved

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby timmsy » Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:33 pm

Ianovich wrote:
Yorkshire Exile wrote:To be fair feets is playing with a slight handicap.









Although clammers does have the odd decent week in her



I think Feets has actually improved


If you're planning same tactic baggsy in clog popping

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Dec 18, 2017 12:57 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW15

9th Crompton/Rinky 1760km
Start: Wittenburg(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 71km
Actual Distance Gain: 10km (14%)
Direction: SW
Finish: Halle(DE)

8th Clammers/Feets 1643km
Start: Bamberg(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 44km
Actual Distance Gain: 30km (68%)
Direction: SSE
Finish: Erlangen(DE)

7th Slarty/Viddleodge 1638km
Start: Vaihingen an der Enz(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 86km
Actual Distance Gain: 62km (72%)
Direction: E
Finish: Ellwangen(DE)

6th The Pigeon Bobbers 1604km
Start: Karlovy Vary(CZ)
Potential Distance Gain: 97km
Actual Distance Gain: 8km (8%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Ústí nad Labem(CZ)

4th= Mintman/Weeman 1581km
Start: Tuttlingen(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 80km
Actual Distance Gain: 61km (76%)
Direction: SSE
Finish: Wattwil(CH)

4th= Avit/Pottster 1581km
Start: Altdorf(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 57km
Actual Distance Gain: 1km (2%)
Direction: NE
Finish: Wattwil(CH)

3rd Yani/Timmsy 1438km
Start: Gräfelfing(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 68km
Actual Distance Gain: 66km (97%)
Direction: SE
Finish: Bayrischzell(DE)

2nd Devilsweep/Nuttie 1423km
Start: Weilheim in Oberbayern(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 86km
Actual Distance Gain: 75km (87%)
Direction: ESE
Finish: Kufstein(AT)

1st Talcy/Schlocky 1313km
Start: Kirchdorf an der Krems(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 82km
Actual Distance Gain: 38km (46%)
Direction: E
Finish: Scheibbs(AT)





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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:59 pm

Tag Team Classic GW16
After leading since GW4 Crompton and Rinky have finally overdone the towelling and slip down into second place. Last week's joint leaders, Talcy and Schlocky take over at the top after outscoring their rivals by 3 points. Their 192 leaves them on 1756 with Crompton and Rinky on 1753.

The Pigeon Bobbers couldn't take advantage though. In a week where the average score was 179 pts, they could only manage 173 and remain in third, but have slipped to 26pts behind second place on 1727.

Devilsweep and Nuttie were another team hitting below average. Their 177 did outscore the Bobbers, but not by nearly enough to threaten them. They are on 1703.

:Gun: Into the 1600s and first up we have Avit and Pottster moving up one place on 1692. They high-scored for the third time in four weeks with 204 and are now putting serious pressure on Sweep and Nuttie.

Yani and Timmsy were unable to compete with the team of of the moment and slip down another place into sixth despite hitting a reasonable 183pts.

Up to seventh go Slarty and Viddleodge after their 186 took them onto 1629.

Mintman and Weeman lost the momentum they've been building in recent weeks and slip back to eighth after hitting the second lowest score, 161. They're on 1614, 15pts adrift of seventh.

Finally we have Clammers and Feets with the lowest score of the week. Their 144pts was exactly 100pts better than last week, but leaves them as the only team in the 1500s, 31pts adrift.


Weekly Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score: Avit and Pottster - 204
Highest Individual Score: Avit - 106

Weekly Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score: Clammers and Feets - 144
Lowest Individual Score: Feets - 59

Seasonal Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score (<=10 games): Talcy and Schlocky - 150
Highest Individual Score (<=10 games): Feets - 90

Seasonal Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score (>=10 games): Clammers and Feets - 44
Lowest Individual Score (>=10 games): Talcy - 18

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sat Dec 23, 2017 9:59 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW16

Talcy and Schlocky hang onto their lead, but their margin is cut due to their wish to see Budapest.

Yani and Timmsy are the team eating into their lead with a near-perfect heading for the second week running.

Elsewhere last week's joint fourth teams both headed due South and will do well to avoid getting trapped in Italy.

Commiserations to The Pigeon Bobbers who have gained a grand total of 18km in the past two weeks and now find themselves back in Germany.

Congratulations to Clammers and Feets. They may have had the week's lowest score, but made good use of it and moved up two places.


9th Crompton/Rinky 1640km
Start: Halle(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 189km
Actual Distance Gain: 120km (63%)
Direction: E
Finish: Bautzen(DE)

8th The Pigeon Bobbers 1594km
Start: Ústí nad Labem(CZ)
Potential Distance Gain: 173km
Actual Distance Gain: 10km (6%)
Direction: SW
Finish: Weiden in der Oberpfalz(DE)

7th Slarty/Viddleodge 1575km
Start: Ellwangen(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 186km
Actual Distance Gain: 63km (34%)
Direction: SSW
Finish: Herisau(CH)

6th Clammers/Feets 1510km
Start: Erlangen(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 144km
Actual Distance Gain: 133km (92%)
Direction: SSE
Finish: Freising(DE)

5th Mintman/Weeman 1500km
Start: Wattwil(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 161km
Actual Distance Gain: 81km (50%)
Direction: S
Finish: Mendrisio(CH)

4th Avit/Pottster 1464km
Start: Wattwil(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 204km
Actual Distance Gain: 117km (57%)
Direction: S
Finish: Milan(IT)

3rd Devilsweep/Nuttie 1378km
Start: Kufstein(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 177km
Actual Distance Gain: 45km (25%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Linz(AT)

2nd Yani/Timmsy 1257km
Start: Bayrischzell(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 183km
Actual Distance Gain: 181km (99%)
Direction: SE
Finish: Villach(AT)

1st Talcy/Schlocky 1187km
Start: Scheibbs(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 192km
Actual Distance Gain: 126km (66%)
Direction: E
Finish: Győr(HU)





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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby tso » Sat Dec 30, 2017 4:16 pm

Where a week behind are we not ? (got 82 score before)

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sat Dec 30, 2017 5:53 pm

Yeah, it'll be up by Monday latest. Your team high-scored so you can probably work out your position from that :coffee2:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby tso » Sat Dec 30, 2017 6:12 pm

:agree1: :titter:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:58 pm

Tag Team Classic GW17
The top five teams from last week seem to be like points marked on the great elastic band of granny's knickers and that band is stretching after the holiday overeating. I suppose Schlocky would prefer me to picture the fab five as being drawn into a black hole, but fk him, I'm not helping that coont reach 5'2".

Talcy and Schlocky high-scored this week, just failing to equal their own record by one point. Their 149pts sees them extend the lead they grabbed last week and they now sit proudly on 1905pts.

And boy did they need that high-score. Crompton and Rinky made a spirited attempt at regaining their lead with the second highest total for the week, Rinky getting the highest individual score. Their 142pts leaves them just 10 points behind on 1895.

No movement in third place either. The Pigeon Bobbers had the third highest score and were the only other team to finish above the week's average of 112. The Bobbers 127 leaves them 41pts behind secon on 1854.

Carrying on the trend were Devilsweep and Nuttie whose 110pts was the fourth highest of the week. That leaves them on 1813, another 41pt gap.

Avit and Pottster hit 102pts to remain in fifth place. Yep, you guessed, it was the fifth highest score of the week, albeit joint fifth. and leaves them on 1794.

First to break the sequence are Yani and Timmsy whose 96 was seventh highest for the week, but enough to keep them in sixth on 1783.

In seventh we have Slarty and Viddleodge who hit a pitiful 92, but still manage to hang on to their position with a total of 1721.

Just five points behind are Mintman and Weeman. Their 102 wasn't enough to provide the first movement in places for the week, but surely next week.

Finally we have Clammers and Feets with the week's lowest score helping them maintain their position. Their 90pts leaves them on 1673, 43 points safe from the heady heights of eighth place.

tl;dr No change in position for anyone. At least Feets has an excuse.


Weekly Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score: Talcy and Schlocky - 149
Highest Individual Score: Rinky - 83

Weekly Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score: Clammers and Feets - 90
Lowest Individual Score: Feets - 29

Seasonal Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score (<=10 games): Talcy and Schlocky - 150
Highest Individual Score (<=10 games): Feets - 90

Seasonal Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score (>=10 games): Clammers and Feets - 44
Lowest Individual Score (>=10 games): Talcy - 18

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Jan 01, 2018 8:23 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW17

No change in position amongst the front four, but the leading two are drawing clear after both find good direction. Talcy and Schlocky remain the team to catch in both comps.

Elsewhere, The Pigeon Bobbers and Clammers/Feets move up and Crompton/Rinky were only 2km away from escaping last place despite heading into Poland to improve their English.

Avit/Pottster still look in danger of being trapped in Italy, but Mintman/Weeman may have escaped after they decided to travel northeast to the fag capital of Switzerland.

9th Crompton/Rinky 1538km
Start: Bautzen(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 142km
Actual Distance Gain: 102km (72%)
Direction: ESE
Finish: Wałbrzych(PL)

8th Slarty/Viddleodge 1537km
Start: Herisau(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 92km
Actual Distance Gain: 38km (41%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Kempten(DE)

7th The Pigeon Bobbers 1500km
Start: Weiden in der Oberpfalz(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 127km
Actual Distance Gain: 94km (74%)
Direction: S
Finish: Landshut(DE)

6th Mintman/Weeman 1483km
Start: Mendrisio(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 102km
Actual Distance Gain: 17km (17%)
Direction: NE
Finish: St. Moritz(CH)

5th Clammers/Feets 1436km
Start: Freising(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 90km
Actual Distance Gain: 74km (82%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Burghausen(DE)

4th Avit/Pottster 1399km
Start: Milan(IT)
Potential Distance Gain: 102km
Actual Distance Gain: 65km (64%)
Direction: E
Finish: Brescia(IT)

3rd Devilsweep/Nuttie 1354km
Start: Linz(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 110km
Actual Distance Gain: 24km (22%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Horn(AT)

2nd Yani/Timmsy 1176km
Start: Villach(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 96km
Actual Distance Gain: 81km (84%)
Direction: SE
Finish: Ljubljana(SI)

1st Talcy/Schlocky 1051km
Start: Győr(HU)
Potential Distance Gain: 149km
Actual Distance Gain: 136km (91%)
Direction: S
Finish: Kaposvár(HU)





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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:44 pm

Tag Team Classic GW18
Groundhog week with higher scores.

Talcy and Schlocky outscored their nearest rivals for the fourth week running with 227, second-highest of the week. That leaves them 16pts clear on 2132.

Crompton and Rinky had another good week, but not good enough. They hit the third-highest score of the week, their 221 leaving them on 2116.

For the third week running, The Pigeon Bobbers lost ground on the top two. Their 206 was just above average and leaves them isolated on 2060.

In fourth place are Devilsweep and Nuttie, the highest-placed team with a below average score. Their 199 was five short of that particular benchmark and leaves them on 2012.

Avit and Pottster are now only three points adrift of fourth spot after scoring 215 for a total of 2009.

Yani and Timmsy were the second team to score below average despite having the highest individual scorer of the week in their ranks. Yani provided the ideal counterbalance to Timmsy's 131 with a 54pt haul, the second lowest this week. Their 185pts leaves them on a perilous 1968.

In seventh we have the surprise of the week. Slarty and Viddleodge high-scored for the first time since GW2. Their 236pts leaves them just 11pts off sixth place.

Because of the flukey score above, Mintman and Weeman were unable to climb up the ringropes into seventh. Their 216pts leaves them 25pts adrift on 1932.

Finally we have Clammers and Feets. They straddled Yani with the lowest and third-lowest scores of GW18, giving them a total of 130pts. They increase their advantage in the wooden jockstrap race to a mighty 129pts.

tl;dr No change in position for anyone. At least Yani has an excuse.


Weekly Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score: Slarty and Viddleodge - 236
Highest Individual Score: Timmsy - 131

Weekly Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score: Clammers and Feets - 130
Lowest Individual Score: Feets - 42

Seasonal Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score (<=10 games): Talcy and Schlocky - 150
Highest Individual Score (<=10 games): Feets - 90

Seasonal Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score (>=10 games): Clammers and Feets - 44
Lowest Individual Score (>=10 games): Talcy - 18

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby timmsy » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:32 pm

slarty wrote:Tag Team Jarrow March GW14 2nd - 1498km

Pop.:22,000. Another one dating from the bronze age, it went unnoticed until 1010AD. This one is putting others to shame with its fire record - several big fires in the middle ages, 120 houses burnt down in 1810 and the monastery was destroyed by fire in 1825 (yeah, yeah chip friar).

:titter: :Gun: :Trumpet: :clap2:


Weilheim's fire brigade at the annual "Salute with
your right hand" refresher

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:58 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW18

Two teams from the chasing pack, Crompton/Rinky amd The Pigeon Bobbers, manage to climb two places in the rankings, mainly due to the poor direction of their victims (especially so in the case of the former who are still fking about looking for butterchurners in Poland).

Slarty and Viddleodge put their week's high score to good use and travel backwards for a distance loss of 127km and snatch the wooden boot spot from Crompton and Rinky. :doh:

At the other end, Talcy and Schlocky have extended their lead, the highest distance gain of the week taking them into Bosnia. :clap2:

Speaking of other ends, Avit and Pottster have fulfilled their childhood fantasies and entered Florence (though quite what fans make of the simultaneous appearance of two Mr Rustys remains to be seen). Travelling down the Italian peninsula may not be too bad a tactic as the shape of it should help channel them in the right direction for a few weeks - yeah, right :roll:

9th Slarty/Viddleodge 1664km
Start: Kempten(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 236km
Actual Distance Gain: -127km (-54%)
Direction: WSW
Finish: Köniz(CH)

8th Mintman/Weeman 1423km
Start: St. Moritz(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 216km
Actual Distance Gain: 60km (28%)
Direction: NE
Finish: Kufstein(AT)

7th Crompton/Rinky 1419km
Start: Wałbrzych(PL)
Potential Distance Gain: 221km
Actual Distance Gain: 119km (54%)
Direction: ESE
Finish: Dąbrowa Górnicza(PL)

6th Clammers/Feets 1387km
Start: Burghausen(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 130km
Actual Distance Gain: 49km (38%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Freistadt(AT)

5th The Pigeon Bobbers 1326km
Start: Landshut(DE)
Potential Distance Gain: 206km
Actual Distance Gain: 174km (84%)
Direction: ESE
Finish: Waidhofen an der Ybbs(AT)

4th Avit/Pottster 1213km
Start: Brescia(IT)
Potential Distance Gain: 215km
Actual Distance Gain: 186km (87%)
Direction: SSE
Finish: Firenze(IT)

3rd Devilsweep/Nuttie 1174km
Start: Horn(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 199km
Actual Distance Gain: 180km (90%)
Direction: S
Finish: Jennersdorf(AT)

2nd Yani/Timmsy 1048km
Start: Ljubljana(SI)
Potential Distance Gain: 185km
Actual Distance Gain: 128km (69%)
Direction: E
Finish: Bjelovar(HR)

1st Talcy/Schlocky 843km
Start: Kaposvár(HU)
Potential Distance Gain: 227km
Actual Distance Gain: 208km (92%)
Direction: SSE
Finish: Tuzla(BA)





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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Jan 09, 2018 6:22 pm

Tag Team Classic GW19
As you were. Yet another groundhog week with no change in position. The average score was 140 and the only teams above that were the leading four. :sleep:

Talcy and Schlocky remain in first place despite hitting only the fourth highest score of the week. Their 147 leaves them on 2279.

Crompton and Rinky outscored their great rivals for the first time since gameweek 11. Their 153 reduced the gap at the top to 10pts.

The Pigeon Bobbers showed that they can't yet be considered as also-rans with the highest score of the week - 168. This was much aided by Sheffy's 92, the highest individual score. :Gun: They've still got a lot of catching up to do, being 41pts adrift of second, but a few more performances like this could put them in the mix.

In a distant fourth place, 119 behind the leaders, we have Devilsweep and Nuttie. Their 148pts served only to increase the gap to fifth place - a one point gain on the leaders just won't hack it. They end the week on 2160.

Greatest disparity within a team goes to Avit and Pottster who scored 48 and 80 respectively, the former being the lowest individual score of the week. :salute2: The total of 128pts leaves them 23pts behind fourth on 2137.

In sixth place we have Yani and Timmsy whose 133 leaves them on 2101.

Fifteen points further back are Slarty and Viddleodge who were unable to follow up on last week's high and ended up with the third-lowest score, 129.

Mintman and Weeman had the highest score outside the top four, but 137 could only reduce the gap to seventh to 17pts.

Finally we have Clammers and Feets reinforcing their hold on last spot with the lowest team score of the week. Their 115 leaves them on 1915, over 150 adrift of their nearest rivals.

tl;dr No change in position for anyone. At least Avit has an excuse.


Weekly Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score: The Pigeon Bobbers - 168
Highest Individual Score: Sheffy - 92

Weekly Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score: Clammers and Feets - 115
Lowest Individual Score: Avit - 48

Seasonal Roll of Honour
Highest Team Score (<=10 games): Talcy and Schlocky - 150
Highest Individual Score (<=10 games): Feets - 90

Seasonal Roll of Dishonour
Lowest Team Score (>=10 games): Clammers and Feets - 44
Lowest Individual Score (>=10 games): Talcy - 18

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:59 pm

Talcy and Schlocky's rampage towards Athens finally comes off the rails as they veer off course and head for Belgrade to pay homage at the shrine commemorating Slarty's 1975 shite in the park..

Yani and Timmsy take advantage to claw back the ground they lost last week.

Devilsweep and Nuttie manage to hang onto third after Avit and Pottster head for the beach at Rimini.

At the other end, The Pigeon Bobbers outdo Slarty and Vid for most distance lost in one week, travelling 159km away from Athens and down three places.

Crompton and Rinky are in 6th place despite spending yet another week in Poland, which says it all about the other two teams behind them.

Tag Team Jarrow March GW19

9th Slarty/Viddleodge 1631km
Start: Köniz(CH)
Potential Distance Gain: 129km
Actual Distance Gain: 33km (26%)
Direction: NE
Finish: Büsingen am Hochrhein(DE)

8th The Pigeon Bobbers 1485km
Start: Waidhofen an der Ybbs(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 168km
Actual Distance Gain: -159km (-95%)
Direction: NW
Finish: Deggendorf(DE)

7th Mintman/Weeman 1389km
Start: Kufstein(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 137km
Actual Distance Gain: 34km (25%)
Direction: SSW
Finish: Bolzano(IT)

6th Crompton/Rinky 1355km
Start: Dąbrowa Górnicza(PL)
Potential Distance Gain: 153km
Actual Distance Gain: 54km (42%)
Direction: ESE
Finish: Tarnów(PL)

5th Clammers/Feets 1316km
Start: Freistadt(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 115km
Actual Distance Gain: 71km (62%)
Direction: S
Finish: Liezen(AT)

4th Avit/Pottster 1154km
Start: Firenze(IT)
Potential Distance Gain: 128km
Actual Distance Gain: 59km (46%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Rimini(IT)

3rd Devilsweep/Nuttie 1121km
Start: Jennersdorf(AT)
Potential Distance Gain: 148km
Actual Distance Gain: 53km (36%)
Direction: SSW
Finish: Novo Mesto(SL)

2nd Yani/Timmsy 931km
Start: Bjelovar(HR)
Potential Distance Gain: 133km
Actual Distance Gain: 117km (88%)
Direction: SSE
Finish: Banja Luka(BA)

1st Talcy/Schlocky 807km
Start: Tuzla(BA)
Potential Distance Gain: 147km
Actual Distance Gain: 36km (24%)
Direction: ENE
Finish: Belgrade(RS)

TagTeamScoresGW19.PNG




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Last edited by slarty on Tue May 15, 2018 1:14 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:10 pm

do tonights scores not count then :OFFS:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:11 pm

me and sheffy are kicking arse and moving backwards at a rate of knots

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:27 pm

Tonight's are part of GW20.

Yeah, me and Vid can't even hang on to our one claim to fame, -127km :doh:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:34 pm

gw20

ive seen some utter bollocks on this thread -but that is absurd :OFFS:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Mon Jan 15, 2018 9:39 pm

I'll be offended if you think my utter bollocks are confined to this thread :lol:


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