Tag Team 2017/2018

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slarty
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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:38 pm

Rightio - a not so random draw has just taken place using last year's scores for HiLo pairings - which meant Devilsweep was off to a flier :lol:

Teams are below if this image site works (rassinFrassinPhotobucket :tantrum: )
Feel free to pick a team name before I pick one for you :grin:
Spoiler:
Image
FanFootyPremier is weeman


yeah, yeah ignore the test scores :oops:
trying out Google sheets so it'll be snafu by week 3 from the start

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Aug 15, 2017 1:07 am

Tag Team Classic
Mintman/weeman high-scored with 146, closely followed by Talcy/schlocky on 142. No other teams cracked the 140 mark.
At the other end, Avit/Pottster scraped into three figures with a lowly 107. Their nearest target is the crompton/rinky combo, 10 points ahead.
The other five pairs occupy the mid-ground from 120 to 138.

Tag Team Jarrow March
Top-scoring mintman/weeman managed to avoid the trip to Edinburgh by 7pts. Instead they headed off in roughly the right direction, ending up savouring the joys of Wakefield.

I say "roughly" because three teams ended up 7km ahead of them. Clammers/Feets, devilsweep/nuttie and crompton/rinky all found a more southerly heading and ended up in York.

In joint 5th place we have yani/timmsy and sheffy/yorkie enjoying everything Bradford :shock: has to offer.

The lowest scorers, Avit/pottster, overcame that handicap to reach 7th place in Ripon.

The remaining two teams had the 2nd and 3rd highest scores, but seem intent on ending up in Ireland via Wales. Talcy/schlocky are spending the week in Burnley, whilst slarty/vid are even more off course enjoying... well fk all really, in Clitheroe.



*apologies for the random links, but we don't have a theme yet. Suggestions on a postcard to vidslarty dogshit successor, PO Box 69, Strangeways

Right vid, over to you for the interesting stuff and/or a theme for this season :grin:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Schlocky » Tue Aug 15, 2017 1:52 am

Theme has to involve Totty

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby tso » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:18 am

Another game i did not know i was in :OFFS:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Pottster » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:41 pm

Ripon :OFFS: :lol: :salute2: :agree1: :albino: :dunno:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:36 am

Tag Team Classic
Slarty and Vid powered their way into first place in a low-scoring week, their 91 taking them 14pts clear of talcy and schocky. Three other teams have smashed through the 200 barrier - yani/timmsy, sheffy/yorkie and mintman/weeman are separated by only two points.
Avit and Pottster manage to hold onto their bottom spot with 174, after seeing off a stiff challenge by devilsweep and nuttie. Crompton and rinky are in the mix for the wooden towel as well, being only seven points away from bottom. Clammers and feets are stuck in no man's land with 194, debating which prize to go for.

Tag Team Jarrow March
The week's lowest scorers, devilsweep and nuttie, have fluked themselves into the lead and wandered into the City of Culture Weird Eyebrows, Hull.

They are followed by two teams in joint second, crompton/rinky and talcy/schlocky, who find themselves admiring the eyebrows in Rotherham.

In joint fourth spot we have the Pigeon Bobbers, yani/timmsy and mintman/weeman who all headed for Chesterfield, the totty capital of ... well Chesterfield really.

In seventh are clammers and feets who wanted to check for wardrobe malfunctions during the diving at Ponds Forge, but instead decided to savour some Sheffield eyebrows.

That just leaves last week's lowest and this week's highest scoring teams to take up the remaining two positions:
In 8th we have Avit and pottster following Georgi Hristov's trail and seeing if Barnsley women can possibly be that ugly.

In last spot, and first to take advantage of the any direction for the week's high scorers rule, we have vid and slarty who took the first road out of Clitheroe and now find themselves in Darlington, 113km behind the leaders.


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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby tso » Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:01 am

:coffee2:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sun Sep 03, 2017 12:21 pm

Tag Team Classic
Slarty and Vid remain in the lead with a total of 318, but only just. Talcy and Schlocky also break the 300 point barrier and are now within five points of the comps most handsome team.

Then there's a gap of 25 points to third-placed Crompton and Rinky, top scorers this week and the only team to get over 100. Only 20 points separate them from ninth-placed Yani/Timmsy, so if you're not mentioned, you're in that bundle somewhere with every prospect of being third or ninth next week.

Tag Team Jarrow March
The Devilsweep/Nuttie ramblers hang on to their lead by hugging the North Sea coastline and end up in Skegness for a fortnight's hypothermia. There's a chance that they can cross the channel to Antwerp next gameweek if they score around 150 and that chance is called, "nae fuckin' chance".

The east coast of E**land seems the place to be if you want to be closer to that Golden Boot in Athens as you're restricted to S/SSE directions...unless you high-score. And it's on that coast we find this week's surprise second-placers, Avit and Pottster, up from 8th with a swift march from Barnsley to Cleethorpes.


In joint third place we find three teams furiously hunting for the holy grail of Gary Lineker's boxers in Leicester. What's that? Name the perverted bastards? OK they are Talcy/Schlocky, Mintman/Weeman and the Pigeon Bobbers.

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sun Sep 03, 2017 12:23 pm

In joint sixth place, we have Yani/Timmsy and Clammers/Feets enquiring as to why their applications to Thicko University were rejected even after they used their very best crayons. Yes, they're in Loughborough. I apologise in advance for that link. Please ban me.

Down from joint second to eighth are this week's high scorers, Crompton and Rinky, who are 16km further away from Athens than they were last week. There's obviously something in Wolverhampton that they find attractive. Whatever it is, it certainly wasn't there the last time it was graced with my presence.


Bringing up the rear are Slarty and Vid, who have finally caught up with some of the teams from Gameweek 1 and are savouring the delights of Bradford after seeing Yorkie's glowing recommendation.

At this early stage, it seems like mediocrity in scoring is the way to go - two out of three high-scorers occupy the last two spots, with only Mintman/Weeman surviving the curse.



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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Sun Sep 03, 2017 1:37 pm

:OFFS:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Ianovich » Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:42 pm

where are we trying to get to :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:35 pm

Theoretically - Athens. Realistically - Dover.

You can relax now, though maybe Yani's Grand Dogging Tour isn't such a bad idea :hmmm:

...

:shock: :horse2:

[edit] :lol: Just found this link in the old dogging thread. Who'd have thunk Devilsweep and Nuttie would know about that?

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:21 am

After hitting the old phpBB favourite, "Your message contains too few characters" last week, I've decided to split this up. The tension will also be racked up from zero to zero plus a bawhair as we proceed through the Jarrow March from ninth to first.

Tag Team Classic GW4
Last week's leaders, Slarty and Vid, hit the canvas and slip into third spot on 400 after two teams pummel them into submission. Up from third to first go Crompton and Rinky, high-scoring for the second week running. Rinky's 75 and Crompton's anagram of that, see them power their way up to 420pts.

In second place, five points behind the leaders, we find Talcy and Schlocky whose 102 was more than enough to propel them past last week's leaders.

The rest of the field lie between 350 and 390, but honourable mentions go to the other two team to break 100 this week:
Last week's 9th-placed yani/timmsy climb to fourth with a (relatively) massive 122pts, second highest score this week. Three points further back on 387 come Devilsweep and Nuttie who hit 110.

A dishonourable mention must go to Mintman who seems to have snorted ralgex before entering the ring - his third consecutive score in the twenties sees the mintman/weeman combo occupy 9th spot this week on 350. There, but for the grace of the fantasy gods, go the rest of us. :salute2:

Last edited by slarty on Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:29 am

The tension is palpable.....


Although that could be the rogan Josh....

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:33 am

Don't call me Josh :grin:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Sep 12, 2017 7:01 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 9th
Crompton and Rinky obviously didn't feel that losing 16km last week was enough, so they excelled themselves this week and headed due north from Wolverhampton. They now find themselves in Blackburn, almost 90km behind their nearest rivals.
Blackburn's Mayor, Javed Black-Pudding, may give a hint as to the purpose of their visit, "Blackburnians prefer mating with cousins and other close relatives. Homosexuality is unheard of, but probably unwittingly practiced in some Chav communities, mainly up in Shad and Darwen where the gender of many women is debatable." Decide for yourselves

Blackburn Cathedral with photoshopped sky

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Tue Sep 12, 2017 8:09 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 8th
Slarty and Vid head out of Bradford with a heavy heart (which they later dumped) and decide to stop in Chesterfield to take in the Worzel Gummidge Memorial

Obviously being only 106km behind the next team doesn't bother them too much now they are no longer in last position and they decide to spend a week identifying local 80s totty and stealing their tartan trolleys as souvenirs.
Miss Chesterfield 1983 just prior to the mysterious
disappearance of her trolley

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Sep 13, 2017 3:50 am

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 7th

Seventh spot sees the first of the contenders for a channel crossing next week though, given their westward position, they are also the least likely. Mintman and Weeman have given up the hunt for Gary Lineker's boxers and focussed their attentions on finding the original Milton Keynes concrete cows.
According to wikipedia, "On their site in a public park, the Cows have suffered many indignities – though it could be argued that these were consistent with their conceptual origins. Sometimes they have simply been vandalised, while at other times they have been painted pink, become zebras, become skeletal, had pyjama bottoms added, have been beheaded in the style of Damien Hirst, have acquired BSE (mad cow disease) graffiti, had one of the calves kidnapped (with ransom notes to the local papers). One of the Cows briefly enjoyed the services of a papier-mâché bull."

The non-fake fake cows of Milton Keynes

Weeman would like to stress that Milton Keynes having a third-rate amusement park called Gulliver's Land played no part in his choice of direction and that he had always wanted to visit one of the most boring towns in the country.

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Schlocky » Wed Sep 13, 2017 11:50 am

slarty wrote:Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 9th
Decide for yourselves



Image

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Sep 13, 2017 6:54 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 6th
Clammers and Feets said a not-so-sad goodbye to Thicko University's Student Union and decided to head somewhere more exciting like Oliver Cromwell and John Major's former constituency. Yes they're painting the town grey in Huntingdon, though quite why Clammers changed her name to Barbara Meadows remains a mystery.
The Urban Dictionary defines Huntingdon as, "A medium sized town in Cambridgeshire (England), where everything is so completely average and grey that not even happiness can escape the shroud of despair that lingers on.". I can see this is going to be almost as interesting as Milton Keynes. :doh:
Yep, bad as I thought. When the first two articles in the local newspaper are, "Opening date for new TK Maxx store in Huntingdon is confirmed" and, "Planning panel to consider bid for new butcher's shop after locals raise concerns", you know it's time to switch to fifth place.
Image
Mr Feets Meadows carries his exhausted
"wife" home after a hard day's billeting

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Sep 13, 2017 7:57 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 5th
Onwards and upwards we to (hopefully) somewhere more interesting than the last two. Down from joint third to outright fifth go the Pigeon Bobbers, and out of Gary's undies drawer and into Chatteris go Sheffy and Yorkie. "Where", I hear you ask. "fk knows. I think the wife has one, but I can never find it", I reply. OK let's find out about this next hub of excitement.

Once again the Urban Dictionary hits the fork on the handle. After those two links, Bradford doesn't seem such a bad option in the eyes of our intrepid twosome. The only good thing about Chatteris I can see is that, unlike Huntingdon's Carnival, they don't wheel dead punters down the street...oh yeah, and there aren't any fuckin' bagpipes.

Despite trying to blend in with the locals, Sheffy
and Yorkie are arrested by the Chatteris High Inquisitor,
Lady Ethel Inbred-Thunderthighs

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Sep 13, 2017 9:27 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 4th
After hitting the giddy heights of second place last week, Avit and Pottster run out of steam/glue/class A doughnuts and slip down two places. This week finds them still hugging the coast in King's Lynn. As you can see, King's Lynn is home to The Hanse Festival, so-named because locals gather round a visiting learned arithmetician to have their fingers counted. Anyone with less than six per hand is transported to Milton Keynes.

Aha! The reason for their visit becomes apparent, obviously they only heard two words from this pub name

Avit and Pottster felt sorely let down after investing
in costumes and plastic surgery for their visit to
King's Lynn's Oriental Attraction

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Wed Sep 13, 2017 10:14 pm

Schlocky wrote:
slarty wrote:Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 9th
Decide for yourselves



Image


If that last one can enter a beauty contest then so can I...oh wait a minute, that is me :oops:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Thu Sep 14, 2017 12:42 am

slarty wrote:[b][size=150]

Despite trying to blend in with the locals, Sheffy
and Yorkie are arrested by the Chatteris High Inquisitor,
Lady Ethel Inbred-Thunderthighs


When Sheffy asked one lump or two I was none the wiser. Once we get further south the disguise will come into its own

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:29 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 3rd
Retaining their third place we find Talcy and Schlocky. Undaunted by the crisp flakes in the undies they filched from Gary's laundry basket, this pair move up from sixth position to arrive in Ely. Also known as "Yet another fuckin' place in Cambridgeshire", this promises to be a riot of laughs.
Yep, this month there are ghost tours from Ollie Cromwell's house, an exhibition of stained glass and a vegan fair :sleep:
Hang on though, the Prince Albert has frauleins. Helgas they ain't, but don't complain, it's either that or posh kids rowing down a river.
Talcy and Schlocky on the pull at
the Prince Albert

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:13 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 2nd
Just one kilometre closer to Athens lie those other refugees from Thicko Uni's Student Union, Yani and Timmsy. This week they've hiked up four places to Stevenage, the first prototype for the Milton Keynes success story.
Leaving aside the hot news that the A602 is closed until February, Stevenage is home to Miss Bobblehead 2017

After stealing a car in Loughborough, things go well
for yani and timmsy until they reach the A602

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:29 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW4 1st
That just leaves this week's leaders, Devilsweep and Nuttie, who have abandoned their coastal route to go in search of some posh totty in Cambridge. Despite their lead being reduced to 2km, the pair decide to spend a few nights in the lady rowers' welly boot room disguised as bits of rough.

If you're fking mental or blind, the full-size image is here

Devilsweep and Nuttie after escaping
from the boathouse three days later





Made a couple of slight amendments to the rules to avoid folk becoming stuck in Spain or Italy...not that anyone knows where they are - the rules, Spain or Italy :grin:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:55 am

slarty wrote:[b][size=150]
If you're fking mental or blind, the full-size image is here

[:


Sweep probably would go for the one on the right if our night out in covent garden anything to go by

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:15 pm

:lol:
That seems more of a challenge than getting into the same pair of wellies as the one on the left

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby tso » Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:18 pm

slarty wrote::lol:
That seems more of a challenge than getting into the same pair of wellies as the one on the left


Don't forget predictions :oldgit: :lol:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:25 pm

tso wrote:
slarty wrote::lol:
That seems more of a challenge than getting into the same pair of wellies as the one on the left


Don't forget predictions :oldgit: :lol:


Oh yeah, Nostradamus predicted that four feet in a ginger burd's wellies would herald the apocalypse

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby tso » Fri Sep 15, 2017 4:26 pm

:OFFS:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Devilsweep » Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:35 pm

Yorkshire Exile wrote:
slarty wrote:[b][size=150]
If you're fking mental or blind, the full-size image is here

[:


Sweep probably would go for the one on the right if our night out in covent garden anything to go by


He's (She's) a looker alright

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Devilsweep » Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:37 pm

Yorkshire Exile wrote:
slarty wrote:[b][size=150]
If you're fking mental or blind, the full-size image is here

[:


Sweep probably would go for the one on the right if our night out in covent garden anything to go by


Not being funny but he /shes boobs are in the wrong place :doh:

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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Sep 15, 2017 8:04 pm

A gentleman would offer to adjust them :oldgit:


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