Tag Team 2017/2018

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slarty
Fan Footy Paul Henry
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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:03 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW11 2nd - 1701km
Despite have the lowest score of the week, Yani and Timmsy nailed their direction and gained a very impressive 59km out of a possible 61. They've lost their southernmost position but have consolidated their second place and seem set to push for the lead. They've moved on from the pig-headed rent boys and gingar milkmaids of Weinheim, and laid their Paul Young hats in Heilbronn - so yani's pig-head fascination carries on uninterrupted (at least for the dyslexic amongst us).

Let's see, Heilbronn:
Pop.: 123,000. First settled by Celts before some guy got nailed to a cross for mouthing off too much.
If you're Jewish, I'd scrub this place from your bucket list: 1298 - 143 jews killed, 1350 - attacked during outbreak of Bubonic plague (presumably for "taking all our diseases"), 1490 - evicted from city, 1803 - permitted to settle again, 1930s - "colossal synagogue went up in flames and its 350 members were subsequently all but extinguished" - rephrase, rephrase, rephrase.

Historic manual crane (probably meccano), "Pot market tower" :spliff: , and yes, a fking train museum.
Good news is that they like their piss-ups throughout the year.
Bad news is it's twinned with Port Talbot and Stockport.
Worse news is that there's a list of public toilets on its website and one of them is in "Sausage roasting Silzer", with another in "Allee" ("24 hours a day, all year round"), and a third in "Wilma Wunder" :WTF:
hmmm :hmmm:

Heilbronn Charity Appeal: 15 views - help this Fraulein buy a new bar of toffee to chew on

On his third circuit of Heilbronn, Yani began to
suspect the locals were taking the pish


It just so happened that Timmsy had eight bars of
McCowans Highland Toffee in desperate need of
pre-chewing, "For the sake of my teeth, Frauleins"

Yorkshire Exile
Fan Footy Don Fox
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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Yorkshire Exile » Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:41 pm

slarty wrote:
On his third circuit of Heilbronn, Yani began to
suspect the locals were taking the pish




Not as much as timmsy who sold him that car

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slarty
Fan Footy Paul Henry
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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Nov 10, 2017 9:16 pm

Tag Team Jarrow March GW11 1st - 1697km
That just leaves those masters of disguise, Nuttie and Sweep, hanging on to first place by the hairs in a witch's pisspot (4km for the more pedantic among you). They only managed to use half their score to reduce the distance from Athens, but also reduced their remoteness from the optimum line by a good bit. They've called a halt at their third town running beginning with B, Bad Mergentheim.

Pop.: 23,000. First written mention in 1058AD, town status in 1340. A young Beethoven visited there in 1781 to play viola (sorta like russian roulette except a musket is aimed at your balls and you can protect your plums from any bullets with a stringed instrument and a bow). 1826 a shepherd discovered a boggin' spring with the highest Sodium Sulphate concentration in Europe, so the place was turned into a spa town for unwell sheep. Inventor of linotype was born there - died there as well after his wife saw what he'd done to the kitchen floor.
Not twinned with anything near Cambridgeshire. :wave2:
No charity appeals for this place, but there is more multi-coloured totty
Lack of witch mentions again, but there was one in their Karneval. I'm sure if she exists Nuttie will find her.

Initially confounded by the lack of
witches, Sweep and Nuttie disguised
themselves as plainclothes traffic
wardens to get their voyeur's methadone

Nuttie found her! His joy as a witch's pisspot was
shortlived however. She'd nearly shat her broomstick
on the way home after a dodgy eye of newt curry







Rules

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slarty
Fan Footy Paul Henry
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Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 11:42 am
Location: It's a whore stealing our lemons

Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby slarty » Fri Nov 10, 2017 9:21 pm

Yorkshire Exile wrote:
slarty wrote:
On his third circuit of Heilbronn, Yani began to
suspect the locals were taking the pish




Not as much as timmsy who sold him that car


Ah that explains the strange starter motor - the pig's got to rear up, then crash down and eject the driver before the engine will start

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Schlocky
Fan Footy Tsutomu Yamaguchi
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Re: Tag Team 2017/2018

Postby Schlocky » Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:17 pm

:clap2: :clap2: nice write up

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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